IN JUST A FEW WEEKS EIGHTY-SIX I’LL BE TURNING
SO FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR FOR SOME GIFTS I AM YEARNING
I’VE BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR LONG–SANTA SHOULD BE AWARE
MY STOCKING IS READY WHEN SANTA GETS THERE
ON THIS CHRISTMAS MORN IN THS YEAR TWENTY-TWO
I’LL BE READY FOR SANTA–SO HERE’S WHAT I’LL DO
I’LL WAKE CHRISTMAS MORN–AND I’LL SPRING FROM MY BED
TO SEE WHAT HE BROUGHT ME IN HIS FROZEN SLED
I LEFT HIM A LIST OF MY UTMOST DESIRES
MORE WINS FOR THE PHILLIES AND EAGLES AND FLYERS
A POWERBALL TICKET THAT I CAN CASH IN
WITH SIX PERFECT NUMBERS–HOW MUCH WILL I WIN ?
A BIG BURLAP BAG INTO WHICH I CAN STASH
MY POWERBALL WINNINGS–A WHOLE BUNCH OF CASH
MY CHRISTMAS SOCK FILLED WITH A GOOD I.P.A.
A WARMING LIBATION FOR A COLD WINTER’S DAY
A MAGIC CONCOCTION TO HELP ME STAY YOUNG
SO I CAN PROCLAIM THAT I STILL AM AMONG
THE “GEEZERVILLE” GROUP–WHO AGAIN AND AGAIN
WILL SAY “WE’RE STILL YOUNG” AT ONE HUNDRED AND TEN
A POTENT ELIXER TO RUB ON MY KNEES
TO KEEP THEM FROM SQUEAKING–I’LL EVEN SAY “PLEASE”
A BUCKET OF PATIENCE WHEN I GET INVOLVED
WITH AN “EVIL” SUDOKU THAT I HAVEN’T SOLVED
A BUCKET OF PATIENCE WHEN I TURN IT ON
THIS “CONFUZER” THAT HATES ME–I WISH IT WAS GONE
AM I ASKING TOO MUCH ? NO I DON’T THINK SO
AT LEAST I DON’T NEED A SNOW SHOVEL FOR SNOW
WHAT IF SANTA JUST SAYS “I’M IGNORING YOUR LIST
YOU’LL GET WHAT I HAVE–AND ON THAT I INSIST
I’LL GIVE YOU A BOOK THAT’S UNIQUE AND IS RARE
IT’S CALLED “HOW TO SURVIVE WHEN THERE’S KNOTS IN YOUR HAIR”
I’LL LEAVE YOU A SHOTPUT AND DISCUS TO THROW
AND A FIBERGLASS POLE IF POLE VAULTING YOU GO
SOME SKIS AND SOME ICE SKATES FOR YOUR WINTER SPORTS
AND A FREE TRIP TO MARS AT GREAT MARTIAN RESORTS
I JUST CANNOT LEAVE YOU THE “FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH”
INSTEAD I’LL LEAVE CLARK KENT’S OLD TELEPHONE BOOTH
I’LL LEAVE YOU A BIKE WITH A VERY FLAT TIRE
AND A HOSE YOU CAN USE IF YOUR PANTS CATCH ON FIRE
SANTA’S GIFTS ARE SO STRANGE THAT I WONDER IF HE
WILL WIND UP IN A HEAP UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE
IF SO–I’LL BE PAYING TO UBER A TOLL
TO GET SANTA BACK TO THE FRIGID NORTH POLE
IN SANTA’S BEHALF–I WISH EACH ONE OF YOU
A CHRISTMAS THAT’S MERRY–AND A GREAT NEW YEAR TOO !!!!!!!!