IN JUST A FEW WEEKS EIGHTY-SIX I’LL BE TURNING
SO FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR FOR SOME GIFTS I AM YEARNING

I’VE BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR LONG–SANTA SHOULD BE AWARE
MY STOCKING IS READY WHEN SANTA GETS THERE

ON THIS CHRISTMAS MORN IN THS YEAR TWENTY-TWO
I’LL BE READY FOR SANTA–SO HERE’S WHAT I’LL DO

I’LL WAKE CHRISTMAS MORN–AND I’LL SPRING FROM MY BED
TO SEE WHAT HE BROUGHT ME IN HIS FROZEN SLED

I LEFT HIM A LIST OF MY UTMOST DESIRES
MORE WINS FOR THE PHILLIES AND EAGLES AND FLYERS

A POWERBALL TICKET THAT I CAN CASH IN
WITH SIX PERFECT NUMBERS–HOW MUCH WILL I WIN ?

A BIG BURLAP BAG INTO WHICH I CAN STASH
MY POWERBALL WINNINGS–A WHOLE BUNCH OF CASH

MY CHRISTMAS SOCK FILLED WITH A GOOD I.P.A.
A WARMING LIBATION FOR A COLD WINTER’S DAY

A MAGIC CONCOCTION TO HELP ME STAY YOUNG
SO I CAN PROCLAIM THAT I STILL AM AMONG

THE “GEEZERVILLE” GROUP–WHO AGAIN AND AGAIN
WILL SAY “WE’RE STILL YOUNG” AT ONE HUNDRED AND TEN

A POTENT ELIXER TO RUB ON MY KNEES
TO KEEP THEM FROM SQUEAKING–I’LL EVEN SAY “PLEASE”

A BUCKET OF PATIENCE WHEN I GET INVOLVED
WITH AN “EVIL” SUDOKU THAT I HAVEN’T SOLVED

A BUCKET OF PATIENCE WHEN I TURN IT ON
THIS “CONFUZER” THAT HATES ME–I WISH IT WAS GONE

AM I ASKING TOO MUCH ? NO I DON’T THINK SO
AT LEAST I DON’T NEED A SNOW SHOVEL FOR SNOW

WHAT IF SANTA JUST SAYS “I’M IGNORING YOUR LIST
YOU’LL GET WHAT I HAVE–AND ON THAT I INSIST

I’LL GIVE YOU A BOOK THAT’S UNIQUE AND IS RARE
IT’S CALLED “HOW TO SURVIVE WHEN THERE’S KNOTS IN YOUR HAIR”

I’LL LEAVE YOU A SHOTPUT AND DISCUS TO THROW
AND A FIBERGLASS POLE IF POLE VAULTING YOU GO

SOME SKIS AND SOME ICE SKATES FOR YOUR WINTER SPORTS
AND A FREE TRIP TO MARS AT GREAT MARTIAN RESORTS

I JUST CANNOT LEAVE YOU THE “FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH”
INSTEAD I’LL LEAVE CLARK KENT’S OLD TELEPHONE BOOTH

I’LL LEAVE YOU A BIKE WITH A VERY FLAT TIRE
AND A HOSE YOU CAN USE IF YOUR PANTS CATCH ON FIRE

SANTA’S GIFTS ARE SO STRANGE THAT I WONDER IF HE
WILL WIND UP IN A HEAP UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE

IF SO–I’LL BE PAYING TO UBER A TOLL
TO GET SANTA BACK TO THE FRIGID NORTH POLE

IN SANTA’S BEHALF–I WISH EACH ONE OF YOU
A CHRISTMAS THAT’S MERRY–AND A GREAT NEW YEAR TOO !!!!!!!!